What Should I Do
by Mai Koujo Onmyoji of Dreams
Summary: This is a story that is kind of personal. It is my way of dealing with my feeling of losing people dear to me. I don't know if you will like this. Nor do I know if I should even be posting this. But it is a way for me to heal. So please listen and hear the tale of my sorrows and fears.
1. Chapter 1

Rain.

Rain.

I hate it.

Yet I love it still.

I hate how it makes my clothes stick to my skin and flattens my once stylish hair. I hate how my make-up is ruined from the cold droplets as it hits my face. I hate having to rush from place to place just so my shoes don't fill with water. But as I stand here with people that I do not know I thank the rain. I do not regret having forgot my umbrella in the car. Nor do I hate the people near me for not offering to share. My once beautifully made red and black strapless silk dress now sticking to my skin like a second layer. Gloves reaching just above my elbows now resemble white rubber gloves. My black ankle boots are covered in mud now and I don't care. My mind has blocked out the voice of the preacher as I watch the star of this gathering. He is dressed in his best black suit, dress shoes and a bright yellow tie. A sad smile crosses my face for a mere second as I notice this. This is why I dressed so strangely to this event, for only he would dress like this even now. I am dressed as I was for the last major event in my lift he played a part in.

I am dressed for prom.

I watch as the emotionless people he called family leave without even saying goodbye. I stop the men as they are about to send him off ignoring the stares of the adults around me. Reaching in to my coat and pulling out a silver envelope I place it gently next to him. On the envelope in intricate swirling letters is my name along with the name of who I went to prom with. If anyone where to open it they would find the card made for the dance and the picture we took outside of my school. This man was, no is, like a grandfather to me and treated me and my family like his own. He even pulled out one of his expensive classic cars from storage to drive me to the dance. Seeing him pull up outside my house in a Rolls Royce and dressed like a chauffeur. To see him smiling and acting like someone half his age. This, This is the man that cared for everyone and helped whenever he could. He never raised his voice never argued or got mad at anyone. As I turn and begin the long walk back to my car the whispers start. I may not be blood related but I was kinder to him than his blood kin. As soon as he was put into the hospital his daughters and son started to sell off his things. They went to his office that he had owned for over 30 years and took all of his antique toys, furniture, and anything else of value. I was with my mom on one of these days having come to visit her at work. Not one of them even seemed remotely sad or worried about their dying father. The only ones who seemed to be sad and worried where me, my mother, and the two women the worked with her. Most people find their bosses to be mean or plain out hate them. But not this man,no, none who has ever met him can say they hate him.

As I walk away from the cold stares o his family I think of how different things are going to be now. As if feeling my sadness the rain begins to fall faster and now feels as heavy as small rocks. I pay no mind to this and continue to simply walk along at a slow pace. About halfway to the exit I stop to stare at something I find strange. For in this mass area of ancient dirt and crumbling stones a tall figure stands tall and proud. Without a second thought I walk up to it and gaze at it with my dull emerald eyes. In front of me is a statue that is no angel or person of honor. No face can been seen from the hollow that has been carved to the shape of a large hood. The hood is connected to a large cloak that reaches to the figures feet, long sleeves cover its hands and in the left hand that is held up above its head is a scythe. I fall to the ground in front of this massive creation finally letting out all my sorrows.

The reason I love the rain.

It hides my tears.


	2. Chapter 2

AN/ If you are new to reading my stories then this explanation is for you. If you are someone who has been reading one of my other stories then this is not anything really new. This story is my way of dealing with all the deaths that have been happening around me lately. The first chapter is based on what I actually had to go through recently with a close family friends death. As the story goes on it will include some of my other feelings and memories that I have to deal with daily. This is just my way of dealing with things and trying to heal.

* * *

I don't know how long I just sat there while the rain continued to pelt my back. Cold wind whips around me as lightning flashes above my head, the loud clap of thunder following not far after. My mind is blank as I stare at the ground with cold uncaring eyes. All of my makeup has washed off by now and left a small puddle of red and black. My hair has come out of its bun and is hanging down over my slumped shoulders. My dark brown-black curls sticking to my neck and face. Why is it the sight of this statue is the reason I lost my control. Why is it that my tears refused to fall as I watched them lower him into the earth. Yet the mere glance in passing of the centuries old carving called out to me. As I stare up at the shadow covered face of the reaper statue I hear something strange. It is low yet even over the howling winds I am able to hear it clearly. Another sound joins the humming that I can make out to be someone's heeled shoes. The soft clicking of the heels makes me think it is a woman but as I turn my head I am stunned speechless. Walking down the worn out cobbled path is a man with long red hair. He has on a bright crimson coat that rests at his elbows. Other than the very womanly features, red ankle boots, and coat he is dressed in what looks like business attire. Black dress pants a white collared shirt and bands around his upper arms. Instead of a normal tie he has a red and white striped ribbon, red glasses with a black bead chain are resting on his nose. But it's what he has in his black gloved hands that gets my attention.

'A chainsaw? Why on earth does he have that?' I ask myself standing to leave feeling like I should leave for some reason. Its only as I leave that I notice the reaper statue is placed in the middle of a small gated area. The gate is made of black iron and reaches at least 6ft high, the tops of the thin bars are pointed with some of them broken or missing entirely. Dead rose vines create a low barrier around the bottom half of the fence. I shake my head confused as to how I missed that completely. As I walk out of the gate door the man stops humming and he pauses just a few feet away from me. I look at him with blank dull eyes before walking past him without a word. The only sound for the longest time is the sound of my heeled boots as I walk away. When I get to the gate to exit the cemetery I bump into something. I look up to see a pair of bright duel colored yellow-green eyes staring into mine. I jump back when I realize it is the redheaded man from earlier.

"How did you..." I trail off my eyes going wide as he smiles to reveal a set of shark like teeth. I take a step back pulling my right hand up and placing it over my frantically beating heart. Just as he seems to be about to speak a voice calls out from behind him.

"Sutcliff if you are done reaping you should have return to dispatch by now." the man says walking up to stand beside the now named Mr. Sutcliff. This new man is visibly taller than Mr. Sutcliff and gives off a very serious 'I don't do happy' vibe. He has short dark brown hair and thin silver framed glasses that sharp calculating eyes are staring out of. He is dressed in a plain black business suit and in his left hand is what looks to be a tree trimmer. "You still have last months paperwork to finish along with this months." He then begins to scold the man on things I don't really understand so I decide to make my escape. I get about halfway to my car when I am grabbed by the wrist and pulled backwards.

"And just where do you think your going darling~" Turning my head I see Mr. Sutcliff right behind me with a death grip on my wrist. "What do we do with her Willie~" At the use of the nickname and how hyper the redhead sounds I raise a eyebrow. Taking the momentary chance I pull my wrist out of his grip and turn to leave again. I let out a small scream when something lands in front of me suddenly. With both hands placed over my heart I start walking backwards from who I guess is named William. I turn to run only to slam into Mr. Sutcliff and in turn letting him trap me by wrapping his arms around mine.

"Sorry for this miss." William says before hitting the pressure point on my neck. My eyes roll back into my head and I slump against Mr. Sutcliff's chest. My head resting on the spot between his neck and shoulder.

'What in the world have I gotten myself into now?' Is the last thing that crosses my mind before I black out completely.


End file.
